Some times, after I make a post about Ryan, I wonder if his sister will be like “yo bro, read this…you fucked up” and then Ryan talks to me….and Im like nope, she said nothing.

3 days ago  /  0 notes

The only time we talk now is when we’re fighting. And the fights are always stupid, and always ‘my fault’. I hate fighting. I hate waking up and not knowing if we are cool or not. I hate going from a couple in love to just friends and barely that, in a matter of minutes. I hate being the only one who cares, and is fighting for us. I hate how you don’t care about anything that deals with me. I hate how you became just like him. Just like the very guy you hated. The very guy who you said you would never be. “Im not him Becka” really? Cause you should do act like him, and maybe a year or two ago I wouldn’t have mind. But I won’t do that again. He killed a big part of me, and I just can’t take that happening again. You don’t care though. So Im sorry.
I hate giving up. I never give up on anything. I fight till I win, or a find a way to win…but as much as it hurts to say…Im giving up on you.

Will you even notice? Will you even care? Will you miss me or remember me or us? Will you try to stop me?
I doubt it.

3 days ago  /  3 notes

I went on a date tonight. It was fun. The guy was great, and we have a lot in common; we both hate people, and make bad jokes. We have basically the same taste in music, and there was very little that we didn’t laugh at. He was texting though, and it seemed like he would only listen to half of the things that I was saying, at times. Hes sweet though, and it was the best first date that I ever had, but at the same time I couldn’t help to think that this is not the guy I want to be laughing with. I rather be with Ryan, but I just can’t deal with his bull shit anymore. I wished that all the sweet nothings were real, and all the promises and plans would happen…but I need to wake up. I need to move on. Maybe I’ll be happy with this guy (I don’t even remember when I was happy last), or maybe Ryan is wake up him self and see that it was him, and not me. Maybe this guy isn’t for me, maybe he is. Maybe Ryan and I will be friends, maybe we will never talk again. Maybe I’ll die alone with 52 cats, I don’t know. I just know that I hate games, and I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. I also know that this guy wants to see me again…and I said yes.

3 days ago  /  1 note

blogsecret:

I wanna live far far away from here

5 days ago  /  59 notes  /  Source: blogsecret